In the modern age, there’s a good chance that you and/or your partner will be bringing children into your marriage. Blending families is a big deal and takes a lot of time and patience.
Let Your Kids Adjust
By the time you’re getting married to your new partner, your kids have probably been through a lot. Whether it’s a divorce or being raised by a single parent, your kids are used to life one certain way. In many cases, they’ve had no say in your life decisions and have just been along for the ride. It’s important to remind your children that your new partner is not meant to replace them. Let them know that they’re thoughts and feelings and important. Most importantly, let your kids adjust to the new dynamic in their life.
Don’t worry if your partner and children don’t immediately get along. Your children have probably only ever known one way of life and your new partner is changing that. You don’t need to force your child and partner to become best friends right away. Instead, provide them with opportunities to bond with each other. Make your partner part of family activities and daily routines. Start bringing them to BBQs, around for the holidays, and to sports events centered around your child.
It may be tough, but try and be patient while your child and partner are trying to adjust to each other. Children are more likely to adjust positively to a new person in the house if they don’t feel like they’re being forced to. Trying to rush this process rarely works and can make your child actually resent your partner.
Give Your Kids Personal Time
One of you child’s biggest fears is that they’re going to lose you to your new partner. They may fear that their parent will love their new partner and their step-children more than them. It’s important to maintain your relationship with your own child. Schedule fun activities that just the two of you can go and do. Also, be sure to schedule some quiet time for the two of you before bed.
Create A Safe Space To Talk
On of the most important things you can do when blending families is to create a safe space to talk. After going through so many changes, it’s important to children to feel like their voices are being heard. While parents are ultimately in charge, being respectful of your children’s thought and letting the voice their opinions is important. Le you children know that everyone in the family has a chance to talk and that everyone will work together to find solutions.